Splash Biography



PATRICK WU, Gott ist tot! Und wir haben ihn getötet!




Major: Electrical Engineering

College/Employer: NJIT

Year of Graduation: 2022

Picture of Patrick Wu

Brief Biographical Sketch:

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Freude, schöner Götterfunken,
Tochter aus Elysium,
Wir betreten feuertrunken,
Himmlische, dein Heiligtum!
Deine Zauber binden wieder
Was die Mode streng geteilt*;
Alle Menschen werden Brüder*
Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

Wem der große Wurf gelungen
Eines Freundes Freund zu sein;
Wer ein holdes Weib errungen
Mische seinen Jubel ein!
Ja, wer auch nur eine Seele
Sein nennt auf dem Erdenrund!
Und wer's nie gekonnt, der stehle
Weinend sich aus diesem Bund!

Freude trinken alle Wesen
An den Brüsten der Natur;
Alle Guten, alle Bösen
Folgen ihrer Rosenspur.
Küsse gab sie uns und Reben,
Einen Freund, geprüft im Tod;
Wollust ward dem Wurm gegeben
und der Cherub steht vor Gott.

Froh, wie seine Sonnen fliegen
Durch des Himmels prächt'gen Plan
Laufet, Brüder, eure Bahn,
Freudig, wie ein Held zum siegen.

Seid umschlungen, Millionen!
Diesen Kuß der ganzen Welt!
Brüder, über'm Sternenzelt
Muß ein lieber Vater wohnen.
Ihr stürzt nieder, Millionen?
Ahnest du den Schöpfer, Welt?
Such' ihn über'm Sternenzelt!
Über Sternen muß er wohnen.

򑗇󘱆򠔽񺡡񨕅𪰽󑎑񧣶򣃈𝴐򶙇򐔭𐤶􄶟𞶅𯏃𾐐󩠓򳥼򑗇󘱆򠔽񺡡񨕅𪰽󑎑񧣶򣃈𝴐򶙇򐔭𐤶􄶟𞶅𯏃𾐐󩠓򳥼򑗇󘱆򠔽񺡡񨕅𪰽󑎑񧣶򣃈𝴐򶙇򐔭𐤶􄶟𞶅𯏃𾐐󩠓򳥼򑗇󘱆򠔽񺡡񨕅𪰽󑎑񧣶򣃈𝴐򶙇򐔭𐤶􄶟𞶅𯏃𾐐󩠓򳥼򑗇󘱆򠔽񺡡񨕅𪰽󑎑񧣶򣃈𝴐򶙇򐔭𐤶􄶟𞶅𯏃𾐐󩠓򳥼򑗇󘱆򠔽񺡡񨕅𪰽󑎑񧣶򣃈𝴐򶙇򐔭𐤶􄶟𞶅𯏃𾐐󩠓򳥼򑗇󘱆򠔽񺡡񨕅𪰽󑎑񧣶򣃈𝴐򶙇򐔭𐤶􄶟𞶅𯏃𾐐󩠓򳥼򑗇󘱆򠔽񺡡񨕅𪰽󑎑񧣶򣃈𝴐򶙇򐔭𐤶􄶟𞶅𯏃𾐐󩠓򳥼򑗇󘱆򠔽񺡡񨕅𪰽󑎑񧣶򣃈𝴐򶙇򐔭𐤶􄶟𞶅𯏃𾐐󩠓򳥼򑗇󘱆򠔽񺡡񨕅𪰽󑎑񧣶򣃈𝴐򶙇򐔭𐤶􄶟𞶅𯏃𾐐󩠓򳥼򑗇󘱆򠔽񺡡񨕅𪰽󑎑񧣶򣃈𝴐򶙇򐔭𐤶􄶟𞶅𯏃𾐐󩠓򳥼򑗇󘱆򠔽񺡡񨕅𪰽󑎑񧣶򣃈𝴐򶙇򐔭𐤶􄶟𞶅𯏃𾐐󩠓򳥼򑗇󘱆򠔽񺡡񨕅𪰽󑎑񧣶򣃈𝴐򶙇򐔭𐤶􄶟𞶅𯏃𾐐󩠓򳥼򑗇󘱆򠔽񺡡񨕅𪰽󑎑񧣶򣃈𝴐򶙇򐔭𐤶􄶟𞶅𯏃𾐐󩠓򳥼򑗇󘱆򠔽񺡡񨕅𪰽󑎑񧣶򣃈𝴐򶙇򐔭𐤶􄶟𞶅𯏃𾐐󩠓򳥼򑗇󘱆򠔽񺡡񨕅𪰽󑎑񧣶򣃈𝴐򶙇򐔭𐤶􄶟𞶅𯏃𾐐󩠓򳥼򑗇󘱆򠔽񺡡񨕅𪰽󑎑񧣶򣃈𝴐򶙇򐔭𐤶􄶟𞶅𯏃𾐐󩠓򳥼򑗇󘱆򠔽񺡡񨕅𪰽󑎑񧣶򣃈𝴐򶙇򐔭𐤶􄶟𞶅𯏃𾐐󩠓򳥼򑗇󘱆򠔽񺡡񨕅𪰽󑎑񧣶򣃈𝴐򶙇򐔭𐤶􄶟𞶅𯏃𾐐󩠓򳥼򑗇󘱆򠔽񺡡񨕅𪰽󑎑񧣶򣃈𝴐򶙇򐔭𐤶􄶟𞶅𯏃𾐐󩠓򳥼򑗇󘱆򠔽񺡡񨕅𪰽󑎑񧣶򣃈𝴐򶙇򐔭𐤶􄶟𞶅𯏃𾐐󩠓򳥼򑗇󘱆򠔽񺡡񨕅𪰽󑎑񧣶򣃈𝴐򶙇򐔭𐤶􄶟𞶅𯏃𾐐󩠓򳥼

The missile knows where it is at all times. It knows this because it knows where it isn't. By subtracting where it is from where it isn't, or where it isn't from where it is - whichever is greater - it obtains a difference or deviation. The guidance subsystem uses deviations to generate corrective commands to drive the missile from a position where it is to a position where it isn't, and arriving at a position that it wasn't, it now is. Consequently, the position where it is is now the position that it wasn't, and if follows that the position that it was is now the position that it isn't. In the event that the position that it is in is not the position that it wasn't, the system has acquired a variation. The variation being the difference between where the missile is and where it wasn't. If variation is considered to be a significant factor, it too may be corrected by the GEA. However, the missile must also know where it was. The missile guidance computer scenario works as follows: Because a variation has modified some of the information that the missile has obtained, it is not sure just where it is. However, it is sure where it isn't, within reason, and it know where it was. It now subtracts where it should be from where it wasn't, or vice versa. And by differentiating this from the algebraic sum of where it shouldn't be and where it was, it is able to obtain the deviation and its variation, which is called error.

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Ya pizza what u want? lemme get uhhhhhhhhhh boneless pizza wit a 2 liter of coke fuk kind of pizza?? and 2 liter machine broke we got 1 liter tho fuk u mean B aight look lemme get that pizza boneless uh? pizza dont got bone on it tf did i just say then you said, lemme get it boneless like pizza got a dam bone in it yall got bones in ya sht then nah so whats the problem D1CK HEAD name one pizza that got bone on it just dont put them shts in my pizza bruh how many times i gotta say it bruh just explain to me how the fuk pizza can be boneless? if it dont got bone in it iss boneless son what school u go to dawg i don't understand the problem just make my sht boneless

t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l t h e m i t o c h o n d r i a i s t h e p o w e r h o u s e o f t h e c e l l

Well, Seymour, I made it- despite your directions. Ah. Superintendent Chalmers. Welcome.

I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.

Yeah. Oh, egads! My roast is ruined. But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Delightfully devilish, Seymour. Ah- Skinner with his crazy explanations The superintendent's gonna need his medication When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations There'll be trouble in town tonight Seymour! Superintendent, I was just- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me? Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour? Uh- Oh. That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm. Steamed clams. Whew. Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers. I thought we were having steamed clams. D'oh, no. I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers. You call hamburgers steamed hams? Yes. It's a regional dialect.

Uh-huh. Uh, what region? - Uh, upstate New York. Really. Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams. " Oh, not in Utica. No. It's an Albany expression. I see. You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger. Oh, no. Patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe.

For steamed hams.

Yes. Yes. And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled. Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- - Excuse me for one second.

Of course. Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped. Yes. I should be- Good Lord! What is happening in there? - Aurora borealis.

Uh- Aurora borealis at this time of year at this time of day in this part of the country localized entirely within your kitchen? - Yes.

May I see it? No. Seymour. ! The house is on fire. ! No, Mother. It's just the northern lights. Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow but I must say you steam a good ham.

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Why is diamond the hardest metal? Scientists at the University of Pittsburgh crashed a car made of diamond into an iron wall at 400 miles per hour, and the car was unharmed. Then they rammed a mile made of iron into a car made of diamond at 400 hours per wall, and Western New York was powerless for hours. Then they crashed a car made of mile into a wall made of diamond at 400 hours per iron, and there were no survivors. Then they accelerated a wall made of mile into a diamond made of hour at 400 cars per iron, and there were no survivors. Then they accelerated a car made of diamond into a mile made of hour at 400 irons per wall, and the results were inconclusive. Then they rammed a iron made of mile into a wall made of hour at 400 cars per diamond, and the results were inconclusive. Then they spun a mile made of car into a wall made of hour at 400 diamonds per iron, and the results were inconclusive. Then they rammed a car made of iron into a mile made of diamond at 400 walls per hour, and Western New York was powerless for hours. Then they spun a wall made of car into a iron made of mile at 400 hours per diamond, and there were no survivors. Then they slammed a mile made of iron into a car made of hour at 400 walls per diamond, and the car came out fine. Then they rammed a mile made of iron into a diamond made of car at 400 walls per hour, and the car came out fine. Then they shot a car made of diamond into a iron made of wall at 400 hours per mile, and the car was unharmed. Then they spun a hour made of diamond into a iron made of wall at 400 miles per car, and the car came out fine. Then they crashed a car made of iron into a mile made of diamond at 400 walls per hour, and the results caused over 9000 airplanes worldwide to lose control and crash. Then they crashed a diamond made of wall into a hour made of car at 400 irons per mile, and the car came out fine. Then they shot a wall made of iron into a hour made of car at 400 miles per diamond, and the results caused over 9000 airplanes worldwide to lose control and crash. Then they crashed a car made of wall into a mile made of hour at 400 irons per diamond, and there were no survivors. Then they rammed a car made of mile into a wall made of hour at 400 diamonds per iron, and the resulting explosion shifted the Earth's orbit 100 million miles. Then they slammed a hour made of car into a wall made of iron at 400 miles per diamond, and the results caused over 9000 airplanes worldwide to lose control and crash. Then they crashed a iron made of diamond into a car made of wall at 400 miles per hour, and the resulting explosion shifted the Earth's orbit 100 million miles. Then they slammed a mile made of car into a wall made of diamond at 400 hours per iron, and Western New York was powerless for hours. Then they slammed a car made of iron into a diamond made of wall at 400 hours per mile, and the results caused over 9000 airplanes worldwide to lose control and crash. Then they accelerated a mile made of iron into a car made of wall at 400 diamonds per hour, and the results caused over 9000 airplanes worldwide to lose control and crash. Then they spun a hour made of car into a wall made of mile at 400 irons per diamond, and there were no survivors.

I inquire as to whether the attempt to make contact with a target, whether a literal strike or projectile, or a metaphor for such a physical act, succeeded in reaching the target, or completed its trajectory without contacting the target. I assume, based on my knowledge of the context in which either the physical or metaphorical act occurs, that the frequency of the latter possibility is insignificant enough to be negligible. The person to which this utterance is directed is in a relationship with a human of the male gender; specifically, the type of relationship whose purpose is to facilitate a relation between people whose nature is suitable for the creation and raising of offspring. I wager with a high degree of confidence that said human of the male gender does not regularly perform an act in which the lips of two humans are brought into contact for a duration of several seconds or more with the person to whom this utterance is directed. An onomatopoeic word suggesting the act between humans previously described. The human of the male gender with which the person to whom this utterance is directed is supposedly in a relationship of the aforementioned type with will, at some point in the future, terminate the said relationship and enter into a relationship of the same type with another human of the female gender, and the human of the male gender will conduct himself in a manner that suggests that the events that occured during his relationship with the person to whom this utterance is directed are comparateively insignificant, and whose cessation does not incur a negative emotional reaction for the human of the male gender. To express the lack of a negative emotional reaction, the human of the male gender will escape the situation in a manner suggested by the onomatopoeic word "skrrt" and henceforth perform a coordinated movement originally used as an accompaniment to a particular kind of music known as "rap", but in recent times has become a statement of membership in a subculture in and of itself, consisting of raising both arms, bending one forearm towards the face, and raising the other arm further above the head so that it is roughly collinear with the first arm, this coordinated movement being known as the "dab"; this coordinated movement is furthermore performed in a manner suggesting a well-known artist of the aforementioned genre of music known as Wiz Khalifa.

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Number 15: Burger king foot lettuce. The last thing you'd want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus. But as it turns out, that might be what you get. A 4channer uploaded a photo anonymously to the site showcasing his feet in a plastic bin of lettuce. With the statement: "This is the lettuce you eat at Burger King." Admittedly, he had shoes on.

But that's even worse.

The post went live at 11:38 PM on July 16, and a mere 20 minutes later, the Burger King in question was alerted to the rogue employee. At least, I hope he's rogue. How did it happen? Well, the BK employee hadn't removed the Exif data from the uploaded photo, which suggested the culprit was somewhere in Mayfield Heights, Ohio. This was at 11:47. Three minutes later at 11:50, the Burger King branch address was posted with wishes of happy unemployment. 5 minutes later, the news station was contacted by another 4channer. And three minutes later, at 11:58, a link was posted: BK's "Tell us about us" online forum. The foot photo, otherwise known as exhibit A, was attached. Cleveland Scene Magazine contacted the BK in question the next day. When questioned, the breakfast shift manager said "Oh, I know who that is. He's getting fired." Mystery solved, by 4chan. Now we can all go back to eating our fast food in peace.

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Ascii art sources:
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1278151911
https://www.reddit.com/r/Undertale/comments/42g2o4/hey_look_a_sans_ascii/
https://www.twitchquotes.com/copypastas/ascii-art



Past Classes

  (Clicking a class title will bring you to the course's section of the corresponding course catalog)

H250: Introduction to Historical Linguistics in Splash Spring 2020 (Mar. 28, 2020)
Historical linguistics is the study of how languages change over time. It seeks to find patterns in how languages in different parts of the world in different times have changed, often without the aid of historical documents. Its bread and butter is the comparative method, which is systematic way of using analyses of sister languages to reconstruct the speech of people who lived hundreds or even thousands of years ago. We can even tell things about the way people lived, and gain insights into ancient population movements, with the help of archaeological and genetic data. But unlike those methods, you never have to pick up a shovel or step into a lab to uncover secrets from the distant past.


M256: Imaginary Numbers for Real People in Splash Spring 2020 (Mar. 28, 2020)
It is said that the greatest discovery in the history of mathematics is that of complex numbers. But what does it even mean to take the square root of a negative number? How can such a counterintuitive, even nonsensical idea have uses in the real world? This class will be a very broad overview of the uses of complex numbers in science, engineering, and life.


A185: An In-Depth Look at the Plot and Lore of Evangelion in Splash Spring 2019 (Apr. 13, 2019)
This class will look at the plot, setting, lore, and characters of Neon Genesis Evangelion and the associated franchise. The class will focus heavily on any points or topics brought up by students, if any arise.


M187: Introduction to Proof in Splash Spring 2019 (Apr. 13, 2019)
Proofs will be introduced as a central concept in the study of mathematics and then illustrated through extensive examples. Students will gain an understanding of the use of proof in mathematics and learn some basic techniques. No prior experience with advanced mathematics beyond basic algebra is necessary.


M114: An Introduction to the Infinite in Splash Spring 2018 (Mar. 24, 2018)
In mathematics, many important results require the formal study of some kind of infinite process. The concept of infinity itself is annoyingly hard to define, and attempts to put it to use can lead to bizarre results. If we step into the world of the infinite, what can we show to be true? Does it make any sense at all to make statements about infinity? In this brief session, two examples will be worked through and generalized - a convergent infinite sum, and assigning cardinalities (sizes) to infinite sets. (Other examples may be considered, time permitting.) A central point of emphasis will be that mathematics cannot answer whether things "exist", but it can answer questions about anything we choose to define, even in the strange realm of the infinite.